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| So yesterday was my friend's birthday, (Btw, I can say that about 90% of the days in September.) and I had a great time. I mean, sure I will have an empty wallet by month's end, but that money spent is not even close to the worth of the friends I have.
I can always joke around and say..."The cost of The Melbourne (22 oz. steak at Outback), that is the cost of my friendship!" But HECK NO, my friendships mean the world to me. Spending that money is like, the admission fee for not just a great ride, but a great day. When I can celebrate a friend's birthday I feel like I am celebrating their being a part of my life, their complete existence, and I have to say, THAT'S THE SHIT YO!
In one day, excuse me, one night (I had a terrible day) I treasured my friend's birthday. I got to meet the others (and they are interesting and funny others) that treasure my friend's birthday. All in a day that is basically, for this one friend that we all love.
I love the friends I have. They are all varieties. I can have sophisticated, meaningful conversations with some. I can have video games and sports conversations with some. I can talk about the most random things with some (and almost all =D).
So I just have to say, having the friends I have, back then and now, I couldn't be happier.
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| Hmmm...I'm not sure what to say on this anymore. I kind of want to just make sure that anyone who reads this knows I am still in existence.
So, my current mind in a nutshell is simple: Regret is a torture that I will live with no matter what I do...what a shame.
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| Time is becoming very interesting to me. With time, comes change and with change comes some solutions and some problems.
Is change always a good thing? I believe change can be both good and bad. Change introduces you to an aspect of life you may have not always given the consideration it deserved. I believe that with change, you should not forget who you once were or what made you who you were then. After all, the past is what makes you who you are.
But I also believe change needs to be acknowledged for what it is and mold yourself to the changes which you feel satisfied with. If you feel that a change is taking place which you cannot live with, defy it and attempt to eliminate the features around you which are aiding a poor feature you do not wish to change to.
Time and change are fascinating concepts. Time is always going to exist otherwise I don't believe anything could possibly exist. Time will always surround us because it's a necessary means of stabilization. Change is very intriguing in that many times, you may not even realize the true extent of your change.
Have I changed? Yes.
Is it good or bad? TBD
I wonder if i should go with these changes or defy them and be satisfied with the life which I lived. Change is so perplexing to me and I don't know how to handle it. I want to change for the best, but what determines what is best? "Best" is so subjective; therefore I wonder to what extent the value of good, bad, poor, great, satisfied do these factors apply to a change? Can change be good, yes as well as bad.
Time
Change
and Life
*Very complex items of knowledge that may never truly be defined and organized in a coherent way* <-- at least that is my opinion.
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| Why does the world work in such a manner that the people undeserving of such bad events in their lives constantly have to encounter them? This doesn't seem fair at all. Why does it feel like, the people that get the best things in life, always seem so undeserving? I could be wrong, maybe they put in their years of goodness and believe that any actions post-accomplishment are a given. In other words, (I sincerely hope this is not the case) the good is causation for the bad and vice versa? Stupid.
I've constantly tried to rationalize why so many good people in the world have the worst happen. Unfortunately, it is so hard to rationalize without sounding like some optimistic, drugged up, freak of pills that is just trying to make the bleak situations seem just a bit brighter.
If there is some "higher being" watching over all those who live, why does he let such terrible things to happen? Why does that child crossing the street have to suddenly get shot by a errant bullet? Why does the good, loving, family-oriented person have their life shortened by an untreatable cancer? Why does the unconditionally loving girlfriend/boyfriend have their heartbroken time and time again when they just want to find "the one" that brings them eternal bliss? I could go on forever with constant questions, but it is all about this simple question: Too often, the wrong person is hurt in some way and is there any coherent explanation?
I want to believe that it is a form of "karma" and that in the end, things will work out and all the pain and suffering will pay off; but how does a child's death or individual's shortened life pay off?
Times seem so cruel sometimes and I just wish there was a reasoning behind it that someone can tell me without sounding like they are just trying to be a comforting person. Unfortunately, it will just sound like comforting words because unless some miracle 180 degree turn in life occurs immediately, that individual will not be able to look at the "glass half full" when that glass is being smashed with a sledgehammer.
I want to believe that there is a reason for every action that takes place in our lives. Maybe, I need to believe that to keep me from developing a hatred towards something I cannot truly understand...
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| I think I'm good. I think it took me some talks, time and thoughts. Huh, that's got a bit of a flow to it. Yeeahh, I think I'm going to be okay to whoever may actually have been concerned...if anyone actually noticed. But that's a whole other can of worms to dive into for another day.
College sucks and I keep having this feeling in the back of my mind that the future, outside of college, will be easier compared to this life. Sure you may have to wake up earlier and you need to put in hours upon hours of work. But from people that I talk to, they are quite content with a job and seem more at home and at ease. Strange, is college just preparing us for life in the real world or is it sort of, making us crave it? Haha, well that was my quick thought. Maybe I'll dive deeper into my thoughts at another hour.
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